Be sure to read my FAQ before proceeding with any of the techniques.
First of all, think about how you masturbate. Do you like to do a
slow build to a single orgasm? Do you like to come several times in a row?
(Note: If you don't masturbate, you should immediately go to visit Betty Dodson and start there.) Your personal masturbation preferences need not change, but it helps if you aware of what they are.
To begin learning to ejaculate through masturbation, first masturbate as you usually do. Put towels under yourself so that you will not hold back for fear of wetting the bed. Be prepared to take your time.
After you reach orgasm, touch yourself again. Are you too sensitive to touch immediately after orgasm? Or are you instantly ready to come again? If you are too sensitive, wait until it feels good to touch yourself again. Either way, start over.
This time as you touch yourself, become aware of your entire vulva, and not just your clitoris. This may distract you from being able to reach orgasm until you get used to it, which is why you should come before you start trying to ejaculate--no point in getting frustrated! Become aware of the sensations surrounding your clitoris as you masturbate. You can feel your vulva swelling and your clitoral shaft becoming erect. You can also feel something you may never have been aware of before, which is the filling of the erectile tissue around your urethra.
If you're having trouble imagining this, maybe a visual aid will help.
Now, concentrate on the feeling of that erectile tissue around your urethra. That's your G-spot! Slide your finger inside yourself and feel the pad of smooth flesh between your vaginal opening and your cervix. You can actually feel your G-spot. It's really there.
Move your finger in just past your G-spot. Some people call the spot between your G-spot and your cervix the "A-spot" and claim that stimulating it can enhance lubrication. You can check these claims for yourself, but that's not the point of touching it at this time.
Move your fingers gently upward and/or forward, finding the position that's right for you, against that spot until you feel a sensation that will make you think (at least until you get used to it) that you're going to pee. Continue whatever motion stimulates that sensation. As you do so, flex your vaginal and PC muscles. If it begins to feel too intense or uncomfortable, stop for a bit; masturbate as you usually do or just rest with your hand on your vulva.
Believe it or not, that's it! Keep moving your fingers to increase that sensation. Sooner or later you will want to release, and you should. When you do, you will feel a trickle or a spurt of fluid, along with a sensation of pleasurable release that will reassure you that you are NOT peeing all over yourself, but achieving a real orgasm with real ejaculation!
Be prepared to experiment with this a few times before you ejaculate. You may remember that when you first started masturbating, you didn't come as hard or as efficiently as you do now. In fact, perhaps it took you so long to learn about your clitoris that you don't really want to be distracted from it--and that's just fine. You learn the sensations you need to focus upon. Ejaculation should come to you with a bit of effort--but don't drive yourself crazy. If it isn't making you feel good, don't continue to do it. Keep in mind that just because you CAN ejaculate doesn't mean you HAVE to.
If you do not like to penetrate yourself while masturbating, or you have achieved ejaculation via penetration and would like to learn more, check out ejaculation without penetration.
If you feel that you need stronger stimulation, or your hand is getting tired,
or you prefer to masturbate with dildoes or vibrators, move on to the section
about toys.
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